Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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