so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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