how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
