You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
