i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
