you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize