some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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