its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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