I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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