I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
