She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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