Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
