then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
