So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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