have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
