I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
