i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
