Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
