Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
