I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
