brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
