tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
