I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
