he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I will pee on everything he values.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
