38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
how drunk are you?
Several
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
