watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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