in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
