You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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