How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize