He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize