In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
