Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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