Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
