i jhust puked up my retainher.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
