Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize