omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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