help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
