Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
