I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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