Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
