omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
