She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
