yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
