This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
