this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
