Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize