You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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