I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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