She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
