her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
