Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
