My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
