She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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