i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize