You just made me feel so damn special
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
