My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
