So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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