I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
