We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
