I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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