Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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