Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
