That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
