He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
