walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
