i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
