come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
