last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
