My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
