My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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