Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
